Healthy Relationships

How does the halachic prenup support a healthy relationship?

The halachic prenup allows a couple to affirm their commitment to treating each other with respect and compassion, no matter what. When you sign a prenup, you are starting your marriage as equals. One person doesn’t have power over the other – you are partners, building a healthy Jewish home together.

I would never withhold a get. Why should I sign a prenup?

No one starts a marriage planning for it to end. But we know that it happens – and divorce can be a painful and difficult process. We can’t always predict how we will act during tough times in our lives, and divorce can cause people to lash out in unexpected ways. By signing the prenup, you commit to always treating your spouse with respect and compassion, even in the most difficult circumstances.

And, you help build a community standard that increases awareness and acceptance of the halachic prenup, helping to prevent future cases of get abuse. Even if you think you would never need the halachic prenup, someone else will.  That’s reason enough to sign right there!

How does signing the prenup help my community?

Kol Yisrael arevim zeh b’zeh - as Jews, we are all responsible for one another. In order to effectively prevent get abuse, we need to establish a community standard and normalize use of the halachic prenup. When you sign the prenup, it makes it easier for another person to do the same – and when all couples sign a halachic prenup, our community will be safer and stronger.

The halachic prenup is not part of our Jewish tradition.

Actually, the prenup is consistent with halacha and Jewish tradition. Halacha recognizes that, sometimes, a marriage is not working and needs to end. The prenup is a simple and effective tool to ensure that the halachic divorce process can proceed in a respectful and compassionate way.

The halachic prenup was introduced twenty-five years ago, and has since been adopted by many prominent rabbanim. It enforces the halachic support obligation contained in the ketubah – the Jewish marriage contract that is read under the chuppah. The Rabbinical Council of America requires its member rabbis to use a halachic prenuptial agreement at all weddings they officiate.

Just like you wouldn’t get married without a ketubah or a chuppah, don’t get married without the prenup!